admin / April 13, 2023

Finding the Perfect Gift: Five Questions to Ask Yourself

Giving the perfect gift to a special person is something that requires thought. And not much of the latter–thinking–is happening anymore in a wired world where searching for gifts ideas can be done with a click of a mouse button.”It’s the thought that counts” is a lousy excuse for giving a present that hardly has meaning for the recipient. Sure, everyone enjoys receiving gifts, both big and small. It is a big ego-booster that makes you think, “Awwww, that’s sweet. You’re thinking of me.” And that’s usually the end of it. The present usually ends up in some lonely corner on a shelf or in some dark, musty spot in the closet. It is hardly the perfect gift. It’s not just the thought (of the person or of giving something to that person) that counts. The thought put into selecting the perfect gift also matters much.When looking for gifts ideas for your special person, what thoughts need to run in your mind? Here are the most important ones, arranged in order of importance.Why are you giving a present?People give gifts for various reasons. In the modern, materialistic world, the most common reason is self-gain. A lot of people actually give presents without consciously knowing that self-gain is the underlying motive:
“I’m giving you a gift so you will like me or think better of me.”
“I’m giving you a present because it makes me feel nice about myself.”
“I’m giving you presents that will remind you of me and how much I care.”
…and the like. You get the idea.This kind of giving is a one-way street. Only the giver stands to benefit from it. In this kind of giving, the giver is simply giving back to himself or herself–the recipient is merely an instrument to the selfish act.There’s another type of giving–one that places the recipient before the giver. This, for me, is what true giving is all about. Thoughtful giving is an other-centered phenomenon. You think of what the recipient will gain from the gift long before you even start thinking of what you yourself will gain from it. You give for the sake of the receiver–that is true generosity.Thoughtful giving requires you to examine your motives for giving the perfect gift. If you want to master the art of thoughtful giving, you need to see giving from a different mindset, a different viewpoint, a different lens. That is where all true giving starts.Whom will you give to?Quick answer: anyone who has need of the gift you can give. This implies that having a relationship with the recipient is not a requisite to giving at all. Gift giving is not about relationship. Rather, gift giving is about the generosity and goodness of the giver.In a majority of cases, though, people usually give presents only to people that they know, or to whom they want to cultivate a relationship with. There’s nothing wrong with that, although giving in that manner reflects a limited reach for one’s kindness and generosity. Or, worse, it could possibly reflect an underlying, often unconscious, selfish motive.Give because you can–and to anyone that will benefit from your present.What gift will you give?The best gift to give to someone you care about is something that has meaning to the recipient. If you can find a present that has meaning for both of you, then that’s better because both of you will delight in the shared meaning and shared significance. Or, at the very least, find a gift that will be of use to the recipient, or will fulfill a recipient’s need. The would make the item the perfect gift for the receiver.Gift giving is all about the recipient, not you. The moment you start thinking first about yourself when looking for the best gift to give, you fall back to the self-gain zone. So, forget yourself when giving a present.Can you afford it?Never scrimp on the perfect gift. Once you find the right gift idea, go ahead and splurge. True and thoughtful gift giving is lavish without being wasteful nor being impractical. And, because giving in this manner benefits the receiver more than you do, true and thoughtful giving also has a sacrificial nature.Does this mean that the best gift you give needs to be expensive? Yes! True giving will always be expensive, but then again, the term “expensive” is subjective and relative. For instance, the perfect gift worth 10 dollars may be very cheap to someone earning four digits monthly but may be very expensive to someone earning a pauper’s income.As applied to giving presents, “expensive” also does not just refer to monetary cost. So, when I say never scrimp on the perfect gift idea, it actually means spend time, talent, and treasure to give it. However, it does not mean spending beyond your means. After all, you can only give what you already have.Where will you buy the perfect gift?Who’s saying that you have to buy it? In most cases, you buy a product or service to give as a present, but there are times when doing so is not necessary. In cases when you’re giving a product or service as a present, you’ll be able to find a lot of gifts ideas from almost everywhere. The item doesn’t have to be complicated or complex, but you might want to spice it up with a little bit of your personal creative touch.Most people shop in stores to look for the best present to give. Others try online shopping. Department stores aren’t the only places to look for gifts either. Service establishments also are potential starting points, as are novelty shops, antique stores, and the like. Just remember to tailor the gift around the receiver, not the other way around. Think about the receiver first, then the gift.In summary, the real cost of giving the perfect gift is not entirely monetary. It’s about the thought that you put into choosing the best gift to give. It’s about always assessing your real motive for giving a gift, as well as about the person you’re giving the gift to and why you are giving such gift. The only requisite to giving the perfect gift is your generosity and how deep your generosity is.

admin / April 13, 2023

A Formula for Perfect Gift Ideas

How do you find the perfect gift for anyone regardless of the recipient’s age? I’ve always believed that the general principle for finding the best gift ideas remains the same: thought about the receiver comes first–the gift itself just takes second place.That basic principle essentially implies that the idea of a perfect gift actually doesn’t exist as an idea that can be considered universal. Put another way, there’s no such thing as a standard “perfect gift” for anyone that matches a particular profile, demographic, or description. Every so-called best gift is as unique as the recipient and the purpose for which it is given.To illustrate this, think of Christmas gift ideas to give to your spouse. If you intend to buy one online, you’ll probably browse tens or hundreds of gift registry sites that list Christmas gifts, gifts for husbands, gifts for wives, and the like. This pattern of gift searching relies on the process of elimination–that is, of narrowing down millions of gift items to just one or two–and then purchasing one while hoping that it will be the perfect present for the receiver. But, this method limits your search in a lot of ways. For instance, it limits your ideas to the season or holiday. Surely, you want to give the best gift not because of the holiday but despite the holiday.An Easier WayIs it wrong to search for great gift ideas in that manner? Of course, it is not. But, is there an easier, smoother way showing the deeper thought and reflection you’ve put into your gift giving act? Yes, there is.Any present is perfect only insofar as it meets a specific purpose. Let’s take this statement a bit further. Different people have different purposes for the gifts that they give. Most of those purposes are practically laced with self-serving motives. Most people give gifts to satisfy another’s wants. Yet, the most thoughtful, noble, and special gift you can give is one that helps fulfill the recipient’s need.Everyone has both wants and needs, and at the end of the day, it’s those gifts that fulfill a need that count and matter more (and are often fondly remembered). After all, everyone can live without getting what one wants. Imagine yourself as the recipient of a special gift. Can you say to the gift giver, “You do love me and care for me; you were there in my need”?Taking the recipient’s need as your foremost consideration in deciding what gift to give lifts your gift giving several notches higher than routine, superficial, thoughtless, and meaningless giving. So, if you intend to practice a more loving and more genuinely human way of giving the best gift to your loved ones, try the needs-based approach.The Liberating FormulaFor brevity’s sake, I’ve summed it into a formulaic fill-in-the-blanks statement that goes like this:”My gift’s receiver needs help with _____________________. I can help this person by giving her or him a _________________.”That formula is a very liberating formula because it:

frees you from the constraints of holiday-themed giving;
frees you from the constraints of popularity-based gifts ideas;
gives you more leeway to come up with a more intimate, more meaningful, and more useful gift idea;
points you to a gift idea that fulfills a need (i.e., the receiver’s), for which the receiver will hopefully be grateful;
frees you from the time-consuming, hit-or-miss process of sorting out gift suggestions because right from the start, you already have a clear idea of the specific purpose for the gift item that you intend to give; and
frees you from the idea that a gift is always physical, material, or tangible. Not all gifts are tangible. In many situations, the best gift is the intangible kind: the gift of presence, the gift of time, the gift of reassurance, the gift of appreciation expressed in a handwritten note, etc.
Take note that the intended recipient may express her or his needs either explicitly or indirectly. Regardless, you have to know what those are. Sometimes, you even need to figure out those unexpressed needs on your own. Giving a helpful gift for someone’s unexpressed need often spices up your gift giving with the element of surprise, which always results in delight: “Oh, oh, oh! How did you know I needed this? Thank you! I do need this.”In conclusion, do not start your search on a gift registry site or a themed listing of gift ideas. Instead, start your search from your mind and fill your thoughts with the recipient and his or her needs. Only then can you really begin a worthwhile search for perfect gift ideas for that person you care about.